Mother’s Day can stir a complex mix of emotions—love, joy, grief, nostalgia, and sometimes pain. For some, the word mother evokes safety and warmth. For others, it’s a reminder of wounds still healing. But for many women like me, motherhood itself becomes the healing force—a path to breaking cycles, nurturing inner strength, and reclaiming our sense of self.

 

A Mother’s Pain, A Daughter’s Journey

In a deeply personal blog post, The Abusive Mother and a Daughter Starved for Affection, I opened up about my childhood—growing up under the weight of emotional neglect, physical and psychological abuse. My mother, consumed by her own pain, mental illness and unhealed trauma, could not see me, hear me, or love me in the way I desperately needed.

That experience left invisible scars: body dysmorphia, self-doubt and a constant search for external validation. I spent years trying to shrink myself into the version of a person that would stay hidden.  When I became a mother myself, something shifted.

I saw my daughters—and I saw a deep-rooted desire to be the best mother I was able to be for them.  It’s a love and mission of hope never truly to be articulated effectively in words only, but includes action

 

 

How Motherhood Became My Healing Catalyst

Motherhood didn’t instantly erase the trauma, but it gave me a new lens through which to heal. Holding my daughters, I began holding space for myself. I practiced gentleness. I spoke words to them I had longed to hear as a child—You’re safe. You’re enough. I love you exactly as you are.

In speaking to them, I was rewriting my own narrative.

Research supports what I felt intuitively: nurturing others can activate our own emotional healing. According to Dr. Dan Siegel, a clinical professor of psychiatry at UCLA, reflective parenting not only supports healthy child development but also fosters post-traumatic growth in parents themselves.

3 Ways Motherhood Can Help Heal Generational Trauma

1. Breaking the Silence Through Self-Awareness

Trauma thrives in secrecy. As a life coach, I encourage my clients to name their experiences. I started my own journey through journaling and later, speaking out loud the truths I had buried. Tools like meditation and body-based therapies helped me reconnect with my nervous system and recognize emotional patterns inherited from my past.

✨ Tip: Start your morning with a 5-minute meditation focused on compassion. Apps like Insight Timer offer free guided meditations to support healing and presence.

2. Practicing Self-Care as a Radical Act

For mothers, self-care often feels indulgent—but it’s essential. When we nourish ourselves, we model wholeness to our children. That means saying no, setting boundaries and resting without guilt.

Psychologist Dr. Kristin Neff calls this “fierce self-compassion”—the ability to protect, provide, and motivate ourselves as we would a beloved child (Source). This concept changed the way I parented myself.

✨ Try This: Block 20 minutes weekly for a solo “care date”—a walk, a bath, a quiet coffee. Reclaiming time is reclaiming identity.  Remember the easiest excuse given is the denial of your own self-care, but it is so important for not you but others who share your life with you.

3. Shifting the Body Image Legacy

Growing up, the projection of body dysmorphia for all of us family girls will always remain a battle to be won not conquered.  I learned to criticize my body before I could even spell the word “mirror.” We, as adult women, openly discuss it and support each other in recognizing how different is beautiful.  I’ve since worked hard to break this chain, but I recognize that the voices can become quieter, but the knowledge that they exist and redirecting their messaging is a great life lesson.  I talk to my daughters at a very early age about strength, health and not size. Function, not flaw.

Healing our body image often begins by changing the inner voice. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and mindfulness can reduce negative self-talk and rewire internal narratives.

✨ Mantra: “My body is not wrong. My body is wise.”

Becoming the Mother You Needed

If you’re navigating your own healing while raising children, know this: you don’t have to be perfect to be powerful. You only need to be present. Every moment of kindness you offer your child is also a gift to the younger version of you who still craves love and safety.

This Mother’s Day, celebrate not only the mother you are—but the cycle-breaker, healer and warrior within you.

You’re not just mothering your children.
You’re mothering yourself back to wholeness.

 

 

 

 

Want support on your healing journey?
I’m here to walk with you. As a certified life coach, I help women rewrite their stories, reclaim their power, and reconnect with the truth of who they are.

Book a free discovery call today.