There’s something about late summer that feels overwhelming.

Summer has its own kind of chaos, of course. But then school starts. Work gets busy again. Meetings multiply. Practices, appointments, and commitments find their way back onto the calendar. Suddenly, everyone seems to need something, and the slower pace you promised yourself you’d hold onto disappears somewhere between Monday morning and Wednesday afternoon.

Maybe you’re handling it better than me – 

The laundry is getting done. You’re answering the emails. You’re showing up where you’re supposed to show up. You remembered the appointment and bought the groceries and checked the thing off the list. Exhausted? Maybe, but handling it.

I know that feeling.

I also know how easy it is to respond by deciding “I need to get more organized. I need a better morning routine. I need to meal prep. I need to get up earlier. I need to exercise more consistently. I need to stop wasting time. I need to get my act together.”

Now THAT is exhausting.

Sometimes the answer to feeling depleted isn’t becoming more efficient at doing everything. Sometimes the answer is admitting that everything is too much.

RELATED: Your Back-to-School Guide to Reclaiming Your Schedule

Your Energy Is a Resource, Too

We talk a lot about managing our time, but I think we need to talk more about managing our energy, because they are not the same thing.

Two open hours on your calendar don’t necessarily mean you have two hours of capacity available. You may have had a difficult conversation that morning. You may have slept terribly. You may be worried about someone you love. You may be dealing with a change you haven’t completely processed yet. Or you may simply be tired because you are a human being who has been doing a lot.

Stress affects more than our mood. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, stress can affect our energy, concentration, decision-making, appetite, and sleep. Long-term stress can also contribute to worsening health problems.

That matters because when our energy starts dropping, our instinct is often to push harder.

I’m learning to ask a different question:

What do I actually have to give today?

Not what should I be able to give. Not what did I accomplish yesterday. Not what would the most productive version of me get done.

What do I have today?

Some days, the answer is a lot. Some days, it isn’t. Both days count.

Stop Building Your Routine for Your Best Day

I love the idea of a fresh start. A new season, a new notebook, a new routine. Give me all of it. But I think we sometimes build routines for an imaginary version of ourselves.

She wakes up early after eight uninterrupted hours of sleep. She drinks her water, exercises, meditates, eats a beautiful breakfast, answers emails, works a full day, cooks dinner, spends meaningful time with her family, cleans the kitchen, and reads before bed.

I would like to meet “her.”

Because my actual life does not consistently cooperate like that.

Real life includes bad nights of sleep. Traffic. Sick kids. Aging parents. Work emergencies. Hormones. Grief. Unexpected phone calls. Forgotten errands. Days when you’re motivated and days when you are absolutely not. A realistic rhythm has to leave room for real life.

Instead of asking, “What would my ideal routine look like?” try asking:

What is a rhythm I can return to, even when life gets messy?

• A morning walk most days, not every day.
• Making dinner at home three nights a week instead of convincing yourself you’re going to cook seven.
• Ten quiet minutes before bed instead of an elaborate nighttime routine.
• Going to sleep instead of finishing one more thing.

That last one matters. The CDC’s guidance on healthy sleep recommends seven or more hours for adults ages 18–60 and notes that adequate sleep can help reduce stress, improve mood, attention, and memory, among other health benefits.

And yet sleep is often the first thing we sacrifice when everything else feels urgent.

Maybe reclaiming your energy means deciding that you are urgent, too.

Pay Attention to What Drains You

Not everything that exhausts us is physically demanding; for me, it’s often the mental load that gets me.

It’s remembering what everybody needs. Making decisions all day long. Switching constantly between work and home and relationships and responsibilities. It’s having 14 tabs open in your brain while trying to listen to someone tell you a story.

There’s even research around what is often called decision fatigue, the idea that repeated decision-making can affect our ability to make subsequent decisions and regulate our behavior. A review available through the National Institutes of Health’s PubMed Central describes decision fatigue as impaired decision-making and behavioral control following repeated acts of making decisions.

You may not be able to eliminate the mental load, but you can stop pretending it doesn’t cost you anything.

Look at your days and notice what leaves you feeling depleted.

• Is it back-to-back meetings?
• Constant notifications?
• Saying yes when you want to say no?
• Being available to everyone all the time?
• Trying to make every meal, workout, outfit, family activity, and weekend somehow optimal?

Pay attention without judging yourself. This isn’t another exercise in figuring out what you’re doing wrong. It’s information. Your body and mind are telling you something about what they can sustain – listen.

Give Yourself a “Minimum” Version

One thing I’m trying to embrace more and more is that something does not have to be done perfectly to still matter.

Maybe your full workout is 45 minutes, but today you have 15. So, walk for 15 minutes.

Maybe you usually cook dinner, but tonight you’re wiped out. Fine. Make a sandwich. Heat something up. Order the dang pizza.

Maybe your house needs cleaning, but you only have enough energy to clear the kitchen counter. Wipe down that counter, baby.

We have a bad habit of turning a smaller effort into failure because it wasn’t the effort we originally imagined. I’m done with that.

A minimum version keeps us connected to the things that help us feel like ourselves without requiring us to perform at full capacity every single day.

And sometimes the minimum version is… wait for it… *nothing.*

Sometimes you need rest.

The CDC recommends small, everyday approaches to managing stress, including taking time to unwind, spending time outdoors, moving your body, connecting with people you trust and getting enough sleep. Notice that none of those suggestions requires reinventing your entire life.

All forward motion counts.

Build in Recovery Before You “Earn” It

This may be the hardest one for me.

I have spent plenty of my life treating rest like a reward.

Finish the work, then rest.

Clean the house, then sit down.

Take care of everybody else, then take care of yourself.

But there will always be another thing to do. If rest only happens when everything is finished, we’re never going to rest. Recovery has to be part of the rhythm, not the prize waiting at the end of it.

That doesn’t have to mean a spa day or a weekend away. It might mean sitting outside for 20 minutes. Going to bed early. Taking a walk without turning it into a workout. Leaving your phone in another room. Laughing with someone you love. Reading something that has absolutely nothing to do with becoming a better, smarter, or more productive person. Read the smut!

And here’s the part I’m still learning:  You do not have to justify it.

Your Rhythm Can Change

The routine that worked for you last fall might not work now.

The pace you could handle five years ago might not be the pace you want anymore.

That’s just life. We change. Our families change. Our bodies change. Our priorities change. What we need changes.

I think there’s freedom in allowing ourselves to acknowledge that.

As life starts spinning again this fall, maybe the goal isn’t to keep up with all of it. Maybe the goal is to notice when you’re losing yourself in it.

So try this: 

• Protect a little margin.
• Try ecognizing exhaustion before you’re completely empty.
• Choose the smaller version when that’s what you have to give.
• Rest before your body forces you to.
• And stop measuring a good day only by how much you accomplished.

Some seasons will be productive. Some will be messy. Honestly, most will be both.

You don’t need a perfect routine to live a good life.

You just need a rhythm that has enough room in it for you.